“Nothing is either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.”
William Shakespeare, English Playwright
As I commit myself to this journey of creating the best “me” I can, I find myself reading on the law of attraction often. Although it is not new to me, I never gave much thought to it and generally just disregarded it as “wishful thinking”. But as I read more and can separate the core of the law of attraction from all the hype that “The Secret” created, I find myself intrigued. It is hard to deny that the idea of being able to attract all the things that bring you joy is pretty awesome.
But I quickly found myself stuck. When you read about the law of attraction you will undoubtedly come across being told to “visualize the things you want”, or “live as if you already have that what you want.” Well, my problem is that I don’t know what I want. And I know I am not alone.
For me the possibilities are endless in a lot of areas of my life. Professionally, I am now a stay-at-home mom, but with my daughter soon to start in preschool I find myself pondering what I am going to do, but between my training (as a scientist and educator), and my passions outside my educational background, I just can’t seem to figure out what I want to do. My husband and I also often talk about maybe moving to an area where we can have a bigger piece of land. But where should we go? How do you visualize something you don’t know?
Kelli Copper, in her article “Law of attraction: When you are not really sure what the hell you want” does a wonderful job explaining this very common misconception (and in turn making me feel SO much better!). We tend to believe that if we don’t know exactly what we want, we will never get it. It makes sense, right? How do you achieve something that you want but don’t know what it is? If you are anything like me, however, being okay “not knowing” does not come that easy. I am very action-oriented and I feel so much better when I know what my goal is and can work towards it. And not having a goal is hard. “We attract based on the energy we are putting out there, not our exact thoughts”, Kelli writes, “so when we can get into an emotional state where we are feeling good about the future, happy, relaxed or whatever, we will attract situations that will feel just like that.” While we may not know the exact “thing” that we want, most of us know how we want to feel, and if you are action-oriented like me, this is kind of an “ah-ha moment”, because now there is something we can do.
What a relief! This means that we are free to focus on the present, instead of forcing ourselves to know exactly what we want in the future. We can focus on aligning ourselves so that our thoughts and actions come from a place of love, and taking the time to be grateful for the relationships, material possessions and opportunities we have right now.
Maybe Kelli has a point. One thing we do know is how we want to feel and if we believe we always need to be doing something, perhaps what we are feeling is what we need to focus on. If you want excitement, look for activities, people, and places that bring you excitement now. If you want to feel peaceful and calm, how can you rearrange your life so you can feel this way right now? And if Kelli is right, you will then be able to attract other situations that will feel the same.
I find this to be such a simple concept, but yet, why do I find it so hard to put into practice? I have been trying to focus on feeling content and grateful, but I often catch myself worrying about all the decisions I need to make, running pros and cons lists in my head and spending way too much time trying to figure out what the “right” decision is.
The missing ingredient is trust. Trust that we don’t need to know everything beforehand, and that what need to know will be revealed to us at the right time. And trust that we can always choose how we feel and look for situations where those positive feelings can grow.
Easy? Not at all! Worth it? I am sure of it! Thanks Kelli!
How do you deal with not always having a clear goal or objective in mind? I would love to hear your thoughts!